171116

Pressure Drop

There's a music box in that second picture that was supposed to be that shot's focus. But it turned out as a Samsung TV, a dresser and some prayer beads. But those didn't mean as much to me as the music box I'd cranked over the years to hear "Go To Sleep Little Baby" played out by its bumps rotating to pluck its prongs.

It sat in their den, among the TV and other seemingly unimportant things. Things that created a sense of safety by combining with the dim lighting, quietness, and mahogany floors. To see those sitting in an unfamiliar assisted-living unit made it feel like life had shifted its weight and lift its safety net to reveal reality.

I cranked it over the years after holiday gatherings would inevitably exhaust me. I found joy that it was consistently waiting to be played. I guess it also meant something to my grandpa.

About the Shots

Something about being able to develop film at home made me feel like I'd be a better shot. I will say that I made less mistakes developing this time. The results seemed to have too much contrast or were too bland. I wanted to blame my camera. Then I tried to blame the chemicals. But the shot of that man on the bike turned out well enough to realize my shooting was at fault. Granted, there was a lot happening with my family. On a personal note, I just feel like I could've shot better over the last 10 days. I was laying wood floors in Tampa and visiting family in Melbourne, and I could feel the urge to shoot the tender or hard moments, but I just felt they were too personal to cast myself out in order to get a picture. So, I'm a disappointed in the shots I let go. But I don't regret being present. There'll be more shots.